Again we were loaded on a large machine with wheels and taken on another long journey
which would have been quite frightening except for the fact that my body was so exhausted and my heart so deeply grief filled that I was beginning to feel numb. My little friend was in such sorry condition that she had attempted to lie down in her crate and was now stuck in a precarious position unable to move and lying in her own excrement. Several other elephants who's crates I was unable to see during the journey were unloaded with us each one withdrawn and sick with terror.
The next year or so we were trained, along with many other elephant youngsters, eight of us in all, to do tricks and to run around after one another in circles. Since my numbness set in it all became a little more bearable. Sleeping was the most difficult part of my life. For when my eyes closed and sleep overcame me I once again roamed free with my mother,
aunties, sister and grandmother in the warm tropical sun. Just as my heart would begin to soften and my feelings open, morning would come and I would find myself again in a strange land where no one understood my needs or my true purpose. My purpose which had once been so clear to me faded into the numbness of daylight.
Mother had told me from the time I was born that I was sent by God to hold the divine blueprint for the Earth and what a special and important job this was. I was taught by Mother and my aunties to walk mindfully on the Earth feeling her radiations of energy up through the soles of my feet up through my body and out into the ether around me. At night when the air was cool and the stars shown in God’s heaven I was taught to attune my body to the energies emanating from the stars and plants and how to direct that starry energy through my body charging it with an energy of my own and then releasing it through the bottoms of my feet into Earth. In this way Mother said heaven and earth come together within my own body and Earth is revitalized and re-balanced.
This vitalizing process is musical in nature. Although humans have forgotten, all creation is musical and all creatures and all created things have their own “song.” When the Earth energies enter the bodies of Elephants, the song of Earth and the song of Elephant merge and harmonize one another. And when the “song of the stars and planets” and the song of Elephant merge, another song is created and another harmonizing occurs. This is as it was ordained from the beginning. In my current circumstance I was totally unable to hear the song of Earth or Stars. The world of man seemed to be made of nothing but thoughts and strange unnatural emotions that created a veiling of the Earth and Stellar energies, robbing the world of man’s creation of the beautiful symphony of life.
I felt bereft and alone. The only thing that kept me going was the presence of my angel who stood silently by encouraging me by the soft steadfastness of her presence that there was some meaning to the events of my life and that at some time in the future I would remember and understand. Somewhere in the back of my mind and hart was a faint glimmering remembrance that I had indeed agreed to experience the events that unfolded before me now. At least I had companions of my own kind. I heard many tales of old elephants who had lived out their entire lives without contact with another single member of their species. I wondered to myself how anyone of us could possibly survive such depravation.
I spent much of my time on a huge truck which I learned was the name of the frightening machine with wheels. Sometimes we traveled by train another noisy
machine, but less uncomfortable than the truck. From town to town I would travel along with the other elephants, some dogs, ponies and horses, several goats and on some occasions two very sick and depressed lions. There wasn’t much in the way of true friendship between our elephant "family" and the other animals. Each individual was either terrified, sick, or had found a way of coping by being withdrawn and deadened. The horses seemed to have a particularly hard time of
it. To make friends seemed to painful to think of anyway as we were seldom together for more than a few months. To become intimate with another creature and then to be suddenly separated seemed too much to bear. Back home with my family such a thing would never happen. Families of animals would stay together and friendship would grow and expand in the most beautiful way. No one in this strange world seemed to know about the sacred bond of friendship, and so each creature withdrew into his or her own world-a world of darkness and despair or a world filled with visions of the past.
As I grew older and bigger, the humans seemed to worry about me harming someone. Most of the time that I was not entertaining people by running around doing unnatural things I was kept in a small stall with a chain around my leg. My stomach would groan from the hunger of the long, long periods between feedings. I began to develop a terrible pain in my belly that wasn’t relived by eating. My feet were beginning to hurt me almost constantly so
that the pain in my stomach, the
pain in my feet and the pain in my heart blended together into a pain to terrible to describe.
Much of what I was given to eat made me sick and I would become faint feeling from the pain in my stomach and the hollow feeling in my belly and in my heart. The only good thing I remember about this time was the children who were present in large numbers when I would perform. Many of them seemed to feel the way I did in their world, sad, half sick, with a realization that something beautiful was missing from their lives but not knowing what that something was. They seemed chained as I was by beliefs and structures that made them feel like prisoners inside their own bodies. Even amidst my own suffering it was my joy to make them sparkle and laugh for a short while. I could see that the hearts of the children, even the littlest ones, were becoming dulled and veiled from the great symphony of life. I would often try to communicate to the children with my heart/mind but, most of them had had their belief that animals could talk stifled by grownup reason. What a sorry mess these grown up humans had made of the Magnificent Creation.